It’s been a week of letting go.
There’s this pink vase I bought at a rummage sale years ago. Yup, that’s it in the picture below. I’m not even a huge fan of the color pink, but I’ve always loved that vase for some unknown reason. Adam and I have used it to collect spare change over the years. It’s crazy how easy it is to become attached to random objects. There’s not even a history to it. But I loved it.
I let it go.
We just got done moving out of our studio apartment, and even though it was small, it was still surprising to see how much stuff we collected over the one year that we lived there. While trying to pack so we only had two carloads-full, we had to let go of a lot more stuff. In addition to “things,” we let go of having a permanent address. It’s invigorating, to be honest. I can’t say I don’t have a “home.” I’ve got home in Adam, the woods, friends’ homes, family, love, and so much more. I feel at home in many places. What we don’t have is a physical residence. No address, no roof. No bed and no refrigerator. We’re in limbo. We’re homeless. We’re vagabonds. Whatever you want to call us, it’s us. And I’m actually a little surprised at how exciting it feels! I feel a sense of freedom from this, and it’s making all the upcoming adventures that much more real… and better.
Today is my last day at work, and also what has inspired this post… there is so much going on to make it feel super-real. Letting go of my job and my time here is a little harder. There’s people here that I love. A lot of them. And today has been great. I just responded to a friend that emailed me to ask how I was doing, and I responded without even thining, “Really good. It’s been an awesome day. I feel overloved.” It’s true. I’ve gotten over 100 emails and people I barely know stopping me in the hallways to wish us all well. The people in my department made a giant poster that was spread across my computer this morning. They created two t-shirts for me. One with the Disco Pickle on the front so it can be seen while I wear my backpack, and the other has photo-outtakes of me from photoshoots I’ve done (4imprint uses its employees for models in our print catalogs). They are incredibly fun! On top of that, they put together a lunch for the department — subs, cupcakes, soda and Snickers! AND… the company had a pig-out day today – it wasn’t in my honor – it was for National Peanut Butter-Lover’s Day or something — but it’s good to go out in true 4imprint style! 4imprint is famous for their pig-out days — there is food EVERYWHERE in this building. It’s incredible. Silly me, I brought my lunch today. Sorry, brussel sprouts… the peanut butter wins.
Yesterday I wrapped up my YMCA membership. I stopped by only to empty out my locker and return my laundry bag and lock, but when I scanned my card, it buzzed at me! A small thing, but it jumped at me saying, “You’re out of here, girl! Go!” I met a lot of really awesome people at the Y, and I just hope to make it back one day for a Monday night kickboxing class with Erin and crew!
Rachel and I also did a little PCT presentation for our Meetup Backpacking group on Monday. I can’t say I’m letting go of the Meetup group, because I hope to jump in on one of their trips here and there in between trucking runs. But I won’t be seeing a lot of those people for a while, so it’s hard to “let go” of.
I think the hardest thing to let go of was my cat… because pets are like your children… but a child I could’ve found a way to bring with me. But a cat? Not really so much. Especially a 12-year-old cat. Finding her a home was completely stressful for me. I so badly wanted her to end up somewhere she’d be happy, and I mostly just couldn’t stomach the thought of her in a cage, patiently watching all the people walking by her and adopting the kittens. It’s a lot to take in a 12-year old cat. Especially when you have a cat of your own. And a dog. And a baby. But my friends Pam and Ken did just that. I am nearly crying out of thanks for their love and kindness in adopting our Peanut kitty. They are amazing pet owners, and a couple of my greatest friends. So to Ken, Pam, Crayton, Charlie and Truman – THANK YOU for taking her in! Big time.
So… I suppose after it’s all said and done, letting go of that vase was easy. But the people… I will never let go of YOU. I have special memories with all of my friends that I’ve gotten to know – whether through work, the YMCA, Meetup, random places… you have become part of my family… there is something along the way that will remind me of each and every one of you. So letting go of people is actually impossible. And that’s the way it should be.
So it’s never really good-bye, but more like “See ya later!” Right? I’m getting all sentimental here, leaving my workplace of 10 years… I’m seeing tears and getting hugs and really feeling some love.! It’s overwhelming, but completely amazing. Thank you to everyone that has touched my life, I love you, and I’ll see you on down the road!